Wednesday, March 4, 2015

And yesterday I had a panic attack. A big one. And no, it had nothing to do with turning 47. I was shopping in Wal-mart. I've never had one there before. I did manage to hold it together though until I got checked out. I wanted to abandon my basket and run screaming and crying from the store. To say it was busy would be the understatement of the millenium. There were hundreds of people there, trying to get stuff before the predicted snow came. They were crabby, cranky and rude, for the most part. Now I remember why I shop at midnight. I lost count of how many times I was run into with a cart. I lost track of all the screaming fit-throwing kids. I quit noticing all the hateful looks from people stopped on the wrong side of the aisle looking at me ugly, cuz they'd pulled out from behind traffic on their own side and couldn't get past. I did, but apparently my brain took it all in. I had started at the back of the store and by the time I hit crackers and cookies, my brain and body had ENOUGH. I started getting shaky, sweating, everything was SO loud and I wanted to cry. No, scratch that, I wanted to full on bawl. I just stopped where I was in the trip, abandoned the rest of my list and went to the checkout line. I had to exit before I lost it. Then the lady in front of me froze the register up. I'd already unloaded my entire full basket. I nearly threw myself on the floor. I texted Randy and told him what was going on, in case they had to call him and say "your wife is under the sink in the men's bathroom and we can't get her to come out. We even tried coaxing her with food...what should we do?" He told me to breathe and remember I was loved. Just breathe. So breathe I did. And I made it out and to the car. Then I cried a little bit just for sanity's sake. And I came on home. It was scary how fast it came on and how out of control I felt. I think I'll pass on those from now on...God, would ya make a mental note of that, please? K, thanks, bye.
On another note, after taking in a quiet evening at home (after I ran to Aldi's, which was a picnic compared to WM), I watched TV and went to bed early, I rested pretty good and we got up at the butt crack of dawn...or should I say, the Butt Crack got up at dawn? Yep, that's what happened. So we were on game delay for an hour. He told me I was mean. I told him he was mean. He gave me a hand clap and a raspberry. I gave him a hand clap and a raspberry. He huffed off down to his room and I didn't see him until 2 till 9. And since then, he's been pretty good. Other than he is "coughin! sick!" I gave him some sinus pills and cough pills and he's doing pretty good for the most part.
The snow outside is gorgeous. Fluffy, white and new. It renews my spirit and makes me feel happy. I love it. however it makes it hard for those who are out to get around and I hate that. And it has currently eaten our newspaper. So I guess we'll just not know today's news. SO, if the apocalypse happened, could someone please text me and let me know? 

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