Thursday, April 23, 2015

5:25am. We are risen, but we are not shiny. In fact one of us is a flat dull red.  Did you know it's still dark at 5:25? And I mean sweet dreams dark, not here comes the sun dark. Seriously- we beat the rooster down the alley up. I genuinely thought about going down there and poking him with a sharp stick. Then I remembered how mean they can be- my Granny used to have one that would chase us grandkids around her house trying to flog us. As I recall we ate him for dinner one Sunday. But I digress. 
Back to 'up for no good reason.' It was paired with "look I've taken my pants off" I put pants back on and put him back to bed with the stern warning of "stay there or else". No, I have no idea what 'else' is, I'm not coherent enough to string together a full thought this early. Which he called my bluff on, got up immediately and took them suckers off again. He is now on game suspension. Until 10am. I have put myself in time out until my attitude improves. I may be here all day. Heck, I may stay here all week.
I'm pretty sure the ambien the doctor put him on to help him sleep is a HUGE bust. We've been on it three months now and have yet to crack 7am, even if he's up till well after midnight. And guess what? He's in his room taking a nap now. Darling child. Glad I'm up by myself. May as well make some coffee. Or I may just put a pinch of grounds in between my cheek and gum. 
Lord, bless us this day, especially that kid in there that can't tell time and is on my last nerve. Keep your hand of protection over us both, but especially him- cuz if he slaps his hands one more time at me when I tell him to do something, I may snap like the elastic in my big girl panties. Then I'll really show my butt. And nobody wants that. Trust me.
Well, whadya know...the lazy rooster is finally up.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Good day to you from the hellish halls of pestilence, disease, famine, infestations, flood,  locust and surgical renderings. We've had about a solid month of colds, flus, pneumonias, upper respiratory infections, and surgeries. We've had the bubonic plague, too, I'm pretty sure. As well as the black, red, yellow, green and checkered plague. Some striped plague- although it wasn't quite as bad. 
We are slowly on the mend, but may never be the same again. Cody had pneumonia in both lungs and had to have two shots to help clear it up. He has just now stopped coughing all the time. Now, if we could get Daddy to stop coughing, we'd be smooth sailing. I always HATE when Bub is sick, he doesn't know how to handle it, he coughs till he pukes and then he panics when he throws up, and runs. So I have to chase the guyser down the hall trying to trap some of the explosion in a pan. Which is generally not very effective, oddly enough. Let me just say, the carpet cleaner definitely got a workout during that time period. So did my back. Ai-yi-yi! breaking news, in case you were wondering, now that everyone is up and awake- Cody has gone and laid down to take a nap...

I have been recouping from a butt kicking surgery last Monday. It was all kinds of girlie surgery, which I won't embarrass you by telling you about, unless you want to know, in which case I have no shame and will be glad to even draw you pictures diagraming what they did. Just say the word. The parts I can tell you without making you blush or clear your throat and think about the weather, are- I had my bladder put up in a sling and he found a removed a great big hemorrhagic cyst from my tube. TMI? sorry. I'm moving better, just still pretty sore. I have to call the Dr office today and find out the results of it. He had no reason to believe it was cancerous but I always worry until I hear the words that it was nothing. So, come on 8am!! 
You should know, I am not good at recovery. I want to do EVERYthing when I can't. (And when I can, EVERYthing just sits and looks at me and doesn't get done) I have golden intentions, but my follow-thru is more aluminum foil. In fact, it's pretty stunted in general. Laundry is stacking up and that makes me nervous. I could go with not washing until December and still not have to go naked, but it will make me bananas until I get to do it. Again- the laundry in the basement, not ideal. If you are building a house and thinking about putting it down there, don't. I can tell you that more than one load of laundry has been washed multiple times to get the "I forgot" washed out of it. Rewashed. Washed-over? Anyhow, you get it. Washed again, cuz it's a reallllly long way down there to swap out the laundry and then suddenly it's two days later and it's still sitting in the washer getting funkalicious. And not in a good way. Downy only goes so far, folks. 
Well, I'm off to be as productive as I can be when my Dr orders are "for the first week, do NOTHING. Then the second week, do HALF normal. The third week, you can drive and do a little bit more, but no lifting over 10-15 lbs" Silly man, doesn't he realize every time I heft my hiney off the couch, I am lifting more than that?