5:25am. We are risen, but we are not shiny. In fact one of us is a flat dull red. Did you know it's still dark at 5:25? And I mean sweet dreams dark, not here comes the sun dark. Seriously- we beat the rooster down the alley up. I genuinely thought about going down there and poking him with a sharp stick. Then I remembered how mean they can be- my Granny used to have one that would chase us grandkids around her house trying to flog us. As I recall we ate him for dinner one Sunday. But I digress.
Back to 'up for no good reason.' It was paired with "look I've taken my pants off" I put pants back on and put him back to bed with the stern warning of "stay there or else". No, I have no idea what 'else' is, I'm not coherent enough to string together a full thought this early. Which he called my bluff on, got up immediately and took them suckers off again. He is now on game suspension. Until 10am. I have put myself in time out until my attitude improves. I may be here all day. Heck, I may stay here all week.
I'm pretty sure the ambien the doctor put him on to help him sleep is a HUGE bust. We've been on it three months now and have yet to crack 7am, even if he's up till well after midnight. And guess what? He's in his room taking a nap now. Darling child. Glad I'm up by myself. May as well make some coffee. Or I may just put a pinch of grounds in between my cheek and gum.
Lord, bless us this day, especially that kid in there that can't tell time and is on my last nerve. Keep your hand of protection over us both, but especially him- cuz if he slaps his hands one more time at me when I tell him to do something, I may snap like the elastic in my big girl panties. Then I'll really show my butt. And nobody wants that. Trust me.
Well, whadya know...the lazy rooster is finally up.