One..Two..Three...Errrr'body UP! And then please be very quiet cuz Cody has gone and laid down to nap. He woke me to tell me he was sheepy. And that there was Shnow. So I got up, handed out pills and by the time I had pottied the dogs, he was lying back down. Well, I'm glad to know me getting up is so peaceful it inspires him to nap. Really. 
Not much snow out there, I thought we were supposed to get 2 inches? Oh well, I'm sure it's enough to incite panic at Wal-mart. People are probably cleaning them out of bread, milk, eggs and toilet paper...cuz you just never know when snopocalypse is coming. I need to go clean them out of cough drops and Excedrin Migraine. Cuz I'm gonna need something to trade for food when the whole world shuts down over this snow. Right? ...wait...now you have the same idea... 
Spent the greater part of last night crocheting. Oh, so relaxing. I'm working on a C2C afghan that is working up just beautifully. It's a gorgeous variegated yarn of blues, purples and greens that I am just gaga over...only problem is- I got the yarn on Black Friday's $1.99 sale...and I ran out, smack in the middle of my 'ghan. So I am hoping it wasn't some rogue color they came up with and I can find it when I go out there today. But, let's be honest...I don't have the best luck in the world. So I may have a half-and-half-corner-to-corner afghan. Crossing fingers it'll be there. Otherwise my blanket will be all wonky and that just won't fit in at our house. Yeah, I know, I laughed too when I wrote it. I have found these amazing hooks that work SO great for me. They are by Boye and have rubber grip handles- and more importantly, the grip extends all the way up to where I hold my hook- I use a pencil grip, rather than the traditional overhand hold of the hook. I love that hook. It was my best hook ever. And it's missing. I have a pretty good idea where it's gone. I suspect Lillie- our kleptomaniac chew-everything-up dog got it and ate it. And then Randy has either hidden it or thrown it away to destroy evidence. Because he does stuff like that. She has chewed up shoes I've never even worn...and somehow they got into the bottom of my shoe basket. How, you might ask? Well, I'm pretty sure she didn't cover her own tracks, so let's surmise she had help to hide the shoe carcasses. Voila! Enter Randy. When I ask him about things like that, I get eye contact avoidance and a question for the question, i.e. "why would I know where it is?" or "what makes you think she did it?" Oldest trick in the book. My mom lie detector is beeping like crazy. In fact, I could use some of that Excedrin migraine...
It's a might chilly today. Fluffy snow is still falling outside, it makes me feel all cozy. I declare this a biscuits and gravy kinda morning. Now, who wants to come fix them for me? No takers? Story of my life.

Day 8,306 of captivity. The younger male continues to call me "Mama" and demand I do things for him. Apparently he feels he is the boss of me. I will play along with his charade until I simply can't stand it anymore. Odd thing is, I've become very fond of him. I'm not sure how this happened. Or why. I just know I feel very protective over him, no matter what he makes me do or how I am treated. It's unsettling, really, the hold he has over me. 
Guess what happened at our house this morning? Nope, guess again. Nope, guess again...ok, I'll tell you! 

THIS MORNING HE BROUGHT ME SWEATPANTS TO PUT ON HIM!!!!! NO NAKED AND HE WANTED DRESSED MORE?! 

Dear sweet heavenly days, show me to the lottery tickets, please, cuz this is a day like no other!! Seriously, get out your red pens and circle today on the calendar. Like, this will probably never happen again. Ever. I did notice there was a ring around the moon last night. Might have something to do with it. I dunno, but I'm all for it, whatever it is!
And on the downside of up, Bubba is now coughing. UGH. Problem with that is, he sometimes spontaneously throws up with his coughing fits and there is no warning when it happens. This means I follow him around most of the day with a bucket, while he tries to shake me like a bad guy running from the cops. It's an art, really, predicting the puking + autism equation. I'm not positive Einstein himself could have figured out the probability of how many times I'd be in the right place at the right time vs. how many times I clean the carpets in a day. And so far the record is 9. Nine times in one day. That is, that I cleaned the carpets, not got lucky as a bucket wielding receptacle. The thing about it is, when he starts to get sick, he panics and runs...therefore, it's a bit like harnessing a lava flow. But enough about puking...how's your breakfast? :D
So, I hear we have more bad weather on the way. Snow. Sleet. Ice. I say HOGWASH! I have to be able to get to Springfield Monday, Randy and I both have Dr appointments. You hear me, weather? Don't bugger up on me! Not to mention I have a birthday coming up next Wed and I want to be able to have my swim party. I have a new bikini and everything. Stop laughing. Stop it! You're hurting my very last feeling! OK, that's it...you can NOT come swim in my imaginary pool. And you may NOT use my pretend pool noodles. And you are NOT invited to play Marco Polo with me. That'll learn ya, dern ya. 

Ow, Karma, OWWWWW! Karma, you bit me! That hurt, Karma! OWWWW!! (in my best Charlie, you bit me, Brit accent). Yep, Karma bit me, right smack-dab in the butt! When will I learn to not tempt fate by bragging on how good things are going? *sigh* 

Apparently NEVER. 

We were up at 6:20 AND we streaked. The kind Windex and coffee filters can't fix. The kind that makes me so mad, I want to chew up nails and spit out tacks. The kind that renders a PS2 useless until 9am. I said "WHY?! Why did you take off your pants?" His answer "Cold" Umm, yes, let's take off stuff since we are cold, rather than put them on. So, I redressed and put on pants that tie at the waist. I even put him back to bed once to no avail. So we stayed up. Which was a marvelous turn of luck, cuz I got to witness the cat barfing and clean it up right away...while it was still warm and gushy. The joy, the JOY! I love mornings at Crazytown. Sarcasm- level FLUENT.
Oh, and did I mention I did all this with my eyes nearly swollen shut? Yeah, I did and this is what happened...now to commercial....hehehe. To explain this, let me go back in time a little bit...Bath & Body Works has this lotion called Be Enchanted that I discovered a few months back. I fell in love with it immediately. I wore it every day and smeared some on every chance I got. It's heaven in a bottle. It makes my nose happy...no, more like downright thrilled. It smells like vanilla cupcakes and cotton candy and baby kitties armpits. Yeah, it smells THAT good. So, I slathered my hands with it last night before I went to sleep. Apparently at some point during the night, I rubbed my eyes vigorously with said lotioned hands and smeared them full of Be Enchanted. So this morning, I am nearly blind with red blood-shot eyes and am a whole lot less than enchanted. Warm compresses helped for the most part and I washed them out with eye drops. So if you see me today, I am NOT a stoner, I just play one on TV. Has this happened to anyone else? No? Well, that just figures. 

Good Morning friends, family and neighbors!! Today marks day 5 of staying clothed. Yep, that's right...NO PANTS OFF!!! Woo-hoo!!! I'm doing my Ickey Woods cold cut dance! Quietly, though...so Bub doesn't actually realize he's not been taking them off. I think once he does, it'll be back to the nudist colony. Or- I guess it would be the half nudist colony. Lower half nudist colony? I dunno...anyhow, I'd just as soon not go to it again. 
He has also been sleeping every day until just a few minutes before 7. Which is heaven to me. I won't push it and ask for 8...but if it happens...well...streamers and confetti might be in order. And I am pretty sure he can tell time. I keep suspecting it, but it's getting more and more solid in my mind. He knows he can't have his game until 8. So, at a couple of minutes till 8 he will come and start staring at me...then at 8 he asks for it. And if he is on punishment, he will do the same thing before whatever hour he is allowed. I'm thinking this kid knows a whole lot more than he is letting on. Seriously. 
My coughing is getting more under control, Randy's however is keeping us all up at nights. He coughs and coughs and I try and give him cough syrup and he's like a little kid- "I don' wanna take that, it tastes nasty" Me:*eyeroll* "TAKE IT OR DIE IN YOUR SLEEP." I have two children that live here, have I told you? One is just older, minds a whole lot less and is too big to spank. At least he doesn't take his pants off when he gets up in the morning. Yet. 
I've been crocheting a lot since my carpal tunnel release makes me able to hold the hook without being in pain. I also found an awesome hook with a built up handle that works where I hold it to make it easier. I hold mine like a pencil, so the regular ones don't work so great for me. But this one was wonderful. I loved it and it loved me. We were perfect for each other. And now it's missing. I've torn the house apart in the search for my soulmate hook. I'm fairly sure the demon dog took it and ate it. And I am also fairly sure Randy found it and either hid it or threw it away. He does that. He's hidden flip-flops in the bottom of my shoe basket that she chewed up so I wouldn't find them till later. I actually actively looked for one for three days before I finally gave up...all the while he wouldn't look at me when I asked him about it or he would say "Why would I know where it is?" Mmm-hmm, question with a question...I got your number, Mister. And now when I ask about it...same thing. So I am assuming it is gone with the wind. And I will cry and mourn it and bury a little empty box in the back yard. And hope they have them when I go to JoAnn's again. I lead such a troubled life, y'all. It's a wonder I'm not crazy. 

....wait....

The coughing...oh, the coughing. The coughing never stops. Even with prescription cough syrup. Even with cough drops. Even with RIIIIICOOOOLAAAA. As far as I'm concerned those two Swiss nuts are liars. Big fat horn tootin' liars. Can't tell a doggone bit of difference between them and a tic-tac. Except the tic-tac tastes better. And my throat? Well, it's actually not too bad, except for the tumbleweed that keeps rolling around in there tickling it. And in turn, making me cough. Stupid tumbleweeds and their stupid tickliness. Stupid coughing. At this point, I'm pretty sure my head is dislocated off the top of my spine. It's a given that I have whiplash and possibly brain damage from it rattling around in my skull. And still I cough. And when I'm not coughing, Randy is. Cuz God forbid he be left out of something. I sure hope Bub gets it next, we'll just make it a family affair! 
On a more positive note- Bubby has been sleeping till just a few minutes before 7am. Which beats the 5am's by a long shot. I'd give a king's ransom for 8am...but beggars can't be choosers. He wakes up talking- and pacing- and does it all day long until I put on his jammies and lay him down. He is like the Energizer Bunny without the drum. 
**PLEASE NOTE** THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO BUY MY CHILD A DRUM. 
You know, when he was a toddler and so developmentally delayed I prayed to God for him to talk. We are living proof God listens and grants our requests sometimes (and that He has a fabulous sense of humor). This year I am praying for an abundant supply of ear plugs. Although I'm not sure that is in God's scope of miracles. 
**PLEASE NOTE** THIS IS AN INVITATION TO BUY ME EAR PLUGS.
Jus' sayin'. 
And now, on this snowy, yucky, coughy day, I am off to do more laundry. I think when I'm not looking, the boys just randomly take things off hangers and put them in the dirty clothes. In fact, the more I think about it the more I am positive that is EXACTLY what must be happening! Stupid laundry. 

 Today I has a sad. My mom's dog, Molly went to her new home to live this evening. I know it is an awesome place and her new girl loved her before she even met her, but I cried when she left. Some of you may think that's silly, but she wasn't just an animal to me, she was a family member. And it was absolutely for the best, cuz Mom couldn't take care of her due to her health problems and I couldn't take her cuz we have a houseful of furry kids. And I KNOW it was the RIGHT, BEST, PERFECT home for her. But...still, I cried. I felt like I failed her. Even though she is going to a wonderful place, it still felt like I didn't take care of her. And that is a sucky feeling. My mind knows it isn't true, but my heart is breaking. I can't wait to hear from her new girl, and see how well Molly is doing, because I KNOW she will. And I can go visit her anytime. So, my heart isn't completely broken, I guess, just a little cracked. 
We started the day with a Pants off-Dance off, you know- like any other morning around here. Although there was a twist today, as he had on the one-piece sleeper and he didn't take it off, just shoved his drawers down under his butt. So he looked all baggy pants gangsta in his union suit, with the diaper baggin' at the straddle. I said "Why did you take your pants off?" And the response? My ever concrete thinking child said "Didn't!" Cuz if there was no hiney to be seen, apparently it didn't violate the rules to him. Well, guess what? Mom was a "Mean Mama" and made him wait for an hour anyways with the careful explanation that anytime he takes his diaper off was NOT good. Whether I actually saw the full moon or his franks and beans or not. But that was this morning and tomorrow morning will be a whole 'nother day and I am guessing the rules don't apply to it. It's kinda like waking up in Wonderland here. You wonder what will happen. You wonder when. You wonder why. You wonder where your marbles went and why you didn't miss them before. 
Went to WM again today to finish getting the things I forgot yesterday and then didn't manage to go get last night cuz I fell asleep sitting straight up on the couch. Not as many people there today, but still managed to see a couple of people I hadn't in a long time and got some hugs. Now, I don't know if they wanted them o r not,but they got 'em. I am a spontaneous hugger and when I haven't seen you in a while, you can expect to be hugged. It's who I am. The crazy lady who gives you hugs. Or at least that's the way they described it on the police report. Just kidding. There was no police report. It was a warning. No, really JUST KIDDING. 
Soooo, where is the snow they said we were getting? Yeah, beats me, too. I just know I'm ready for springtime to be here. I LOVE snow, but fresh snow- not dirty used snow that's been laying around. It's like yard-sale snow...I'm done with it, now if someone else would just take it, I'd be good. Heck, I'd even put it in the free box. Free snow!!! Anyone? Anyone? Beuhler?

Lord A'Mercy, we slept in today! All the way till 6:50. I was so confused and bumfuzzled by it, that my entire day was thrown off. I'm just now catching up with me and myself. And we are a might worn out. I think I traveled a million miles today- many of them in circles at WM while I was trying to find the things I needed and then TRYING to get to them through the people who were hoarding stuff for the blizzard that's coming. And guess what I cam home with? 5 out of the 17 things on my list. 

Cuz I'm a JEEN-YUS, that's why! 

So, I'm getting ready to run out in a little bit and get the things I forgot today. And no- milk, bread or toilet paper wasn't on the list, so I should be good. Unless there was a big run on Bag Balm, paintbrushes and sandwich bags and they are completely out...in which case I will riot and fling myself in the floor and have a spin-fit. (I'm still itching for one of those since I don't have room to have one at home)
Speaking of not much room: I've decided to paint my teensy little bathroom a pretty blue called Sea (...or Ocean..or something watery sounding). I figured it will make us think we're at the beach and when Randy sits in there too long, I can start playing the Jaws music and it will encourage him to hustle butt on out. I am afraid he's too smart for that, but we'll never know till we try. 
Cody has been doing his "Pete and Repeat sat on a fence and Pete fell off, who was left?" repertoire all day. And night. No, he doesn't really do that joke. At least it would be semi-entertaining. He just says random things 34 times in a row until we insist he stop and then he changes it up by starting a new chant. Good times here. Loud times here. helpmeeeee
I made Chicago Dogs and tater salad for supper. I think the boys ate about 7 together. Cody kept looking at me while he was smacking his lips saying "mmmm, good!" That always makes a mama's heart swell. Of course he told me the same thing when he ate a light bulb once. But that's another story. 
I'm still trying to get a handle on all the things in disarray in my house. It seems like I take two steps forwards and 3 steps back. I start out like a bottle rocket, then **pop** I end up shaking my head wandering away to a quiet place and biting my nails. I wish some of the voices in my head were good at organization. I have a label maker and everything.